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“It’s a Bit Much”: Harlequins Superfan Comes to School in Full Shrek Cosplay

Doug Locke's attempt at Shrek cosplay was been called "a little disturbing."

The St. Ignatius Harlequins’ production of Shrek: the Musical sold out consecutive nights at the Breen Theater this spring, but one student’s support stood head and shoulders above the rest.

Students and faculty members were shocked to see freshman Doug Locke show up on Monday morning in full Shrek cosplay, complete with the iconic peasant attire, green makeup, and most importantly, his green ogre ears.

His spirit for the masterpiece of Shrek: the Musical did not go unnoticed by the cast and crew, many of whom stopped to pose for selfies with Doug in the halls during class changes only to discover that their phones were securely locked in the unassailable vaults that are Yondr pouches.

Ms. Martin found it awesome that a student would go out of his way to dress up as Shrek.  “I find it awesome that a student would go out of his way to dress up as Shrek,” she said. “And, frankly, it’s a little disturbing.”

Locke was also seen holding up signs on the mall to encourage people to support the musical. One sign said, “Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life” on one side and the other side said, “Life is Better in the Swamp.” Another sign told people to support his best friend Sean Rekk, a member of the Harlequins run crew, by advertising his code srekk28.

In an interview, Locke shared why he made the daring decision to ditch his shirt and tie and come to school as Shrek. “I always loved Shrek as a kid and here it is being performed at school. So, I have to go and see it,” Doug responded. “I know that the cast and crew work tirelessly to get the musical running, and Ms. Martin said that there will be a free day if all the shows sell out during the spring sports rally. So, I’m going to all five shows and the ice cream social on the 6th,” he added.

With his costume, Doug became a sensation throughout campus, so we solicited student and teacher input.

Jacob Rolda ‘26, Assistant Stage Manager for the Harlequins believes that “the support
that Doug provided to this show will go a long way. However, I do think he should have advertised my code jrolda26 instead.”

Mr. Hess added, “If you want a free day, Matthew Piatak [who portrays Shrek in the production] will have to go through me first!”

Ms. Mayer was characteristically supportive. “I mean, its a bit much, but you do you. Live your truth, Doug!”

Finally, Mr. Sheridan’s input was needed on the whole situation. To say the least, he was not amused by Doug’s blatant disregard for the dress code.

“I wound up with ten JUGs and a Saturday detention that day, but it was all worth it. Although, I do disagree with my punishment because who doesn’t love Shrek… and free days,” Doug concluded.

Sophomore Sets Intramural Hoops Record

A Cleveland area all-star intramural athlete insisted last week that he keep shooting stepback threes after 32 missed attempts: “I’m just a little off my usual game today.”

A new intramural basketball school record was set last week when sophomore Parker Waterhouse went a stunning 0/32 from beyond the arc.

Price Waterhouse ’27 claims he had “an off day.”

Students watching the game in horror reported hearing him shout, “That’s in!” followed by a loud clunk each time.

“I don’t know how he even got the ball that many times,” said teammate Steph Dahl, “We tried to take him out of the game, but he insisted he’d get the next one and subbed himself back in.”

When interviewed after his performance, Waterhouse claimed that he was “Just getting warmed up,” and “Next game I’ll drop 40.”

“It Will Change Ignatius Forever:” The Story of an AP Research Student’s Innovative Survey and Dream To Change His School For The Better

Amidst an ever-changing and unstable nation since the year began, one thing has remained constant in the lives of the Saint Ignatius community: AP Research students and their Google Forms. Seemingly, each Research student claims to be better than the rest, ultimately competing to see which one of them will craft an incomparable project that will leave their indelible mark on Saint Ignatius High School. 

It appears that we have our winner. In a presumably uncharacteristic move, Timmy “All-5s [on AP Tests]” Gallagher ‘26 has sent out a survey for his project centering around students’ perceptions of the AP Research surveys they have taken this year. When asked about the story behind his project’s origins, Timmy declared, “I chose this project because I saw how many students chose surveys as a method of data collection. I wanted to far exceed my peers in value to my school, and I wanted to shame my peers ‘cause their surveys just weren’t good enough!” 

Some of the questions on Gallagher’s survey center around students having to report which of the surveys they’ve taken hold the least meaning, least importance, and least relevance to anyone. Unfortunately for Gallagher, his research has not been fruitful thus far: he claims that he only has five respondents. When asked about his lack of data, Gallagher whined, “These were the only students who took any surveys this year!”

In a sad day for the junior, Gallagher’s reputation may be in jeopardy.

Trump Tariffs on Canadian Paper Force The Eye to Go Digital

President Donald Trump signs an Executive Order on the Administration’s tariff plans at a “Make America Wealthy Again” event, Wednesday, April 2, 2025, in the White House Rose Garden. (Official White House Photo by Daniel Torok)

The Eye’s annual April Fools edition, humorously dubbed The Lie (see what we did there?), was set to go to press when President Donald Trump’s “Liberation Day” Tariffs slapped a whopping 347% tariff on Canadian lumber and paper products.

“The days of Americans being sucker punched by nasty Canadians…and believe me, they are nasty people…very bad, sick people are over. But we like the maple syrup and those fries with the gravy and so I think it should be the 51st state. But I hear some of the people in charge don’t like that idea to much. Especially Governor Trudeau…I call him Governor. But believe me, the days of American carnage are over. A new era of American greatness has begun!”

The tariffs, which prompted an immediate economic panic on Wall Street, were also felt on West 30th Street.

“Our normal printing costs are about $600 per issue. Once those tariffs went into effect, our bill skyrocketed to $208,200. That’s just not sustainable given the amount of money the school has to set aside for Chinese-made imported Yondr pouches next year,” said Eye Editor-in-Chief Xander Smits.

“In the end, it was digital or nothing.”

President Donald Trump signs an Executive Order on the Administration’s tariff plans at a “Make America Wealthy Again” event, Wednesday, April 2, 2025, in the White House Rose Garden. (Official White House Photo by Daniel Torok)

Freshman Dodgeball Tournament Leads to Mandatory Concussion Testing

Freshman Logan Gojiewski '28 is one of a number of casualties of Ignatius's "most dangerous game."

Everyone knows the rules: avoid or catch the dodgeballs so that the other team is fully eliminated. No head shots are allowed. Well, except apparently for the freshmen. 

On April 3rd, the Freshman Dodgeball Tournament began. This year’s class of 2028 showed promise during the tournament with game plans being set by many groups and teams working well to get the other groups out. For many teams, their aggressive and quick-witted nature brought them to victory. Still, the end of these matches produced some serious concerns about their intensity’s ramifications. In addition to other state testing required of freshman, Mrs. Woidke noted that “Due to the violent nature of the tournament, I am now requiring that all freshmen be screened for concussion during their formation period.”

But how did the freshmen cause this mandate in the first place? It began with the match between the Freshman Chorus and Señor Cogan’s advisory. The Big Brother of the Freshman Chorus was James Kramer ‘26, who spent a large amount of time planning for this match. He thought that the game was played with “head shots only” and oriented his team accordingly. The Freshman Chorus brought their aggression to this match, aiming every dodgeball at the other teams’ heads. Fortunately, for them, many landed short at the top of the torso, allowing the team to gain a good grip of the match early. Additionally, there are allegations, while still unconfirmed, that the Freshman Chorus brought back in members of the team even when the team did not catch a ball. 

Unfortunately, for Señor Cogan’s advisory team, many of them were terrified by the sheer speed and damage by which the Freshman Chorus was throwing. Within the first minute of the match, those that played chess, sports, or were in the Harlequins were brought out due to their commitments later in the month. There was no referee there to advise who was out, in, or on which team. Those who were not exempt from playing feared for their life as they occasionally got smacked in the face or hit right in the neck, rendering them speechless. The amount of the injuries in this one game alone tripled the injuries from any other year of the Freshmen Dodgeball Tournament according to Mrs. Woidke. 

Still, the Freshman Chorus came out victorious in the end under the leadership of Kramer ‘26. As he told The Eye, “I’m glad the Freshman Chorus brought their A-game and caused so many penalties.” Make sure, freshmen, to head by Mrs. Woidke’s office for your 25-minute concussion check-up: it’s required.

Meet the Candidates: Q&A with the 2024-25 Student Senate Slates

by Dae San Kim ’25

Earlier this month, I interviewed each of the three slates running for Student Senate President and Vice President. Each slate was asked about their specific ideas for how they would lead the student body and why they thought they were the best qualified students for the position. You can see what they have to say about topics ranging from eating off campus to the bell schedule as well as advisory and how to revive school spirit.  As we prepare to cast our votes this week, you can use these interviews to inform your decision. 

(The image to the left shows, from top to bottom and left to right, Alsouss/Bornhorst, Solar/Bender, and Avery/Gibbs.)

Editor’s Note: The Eye neither endorses candidates nor vouches for the accuracy of the candidates’ statements.

What specific new ideas do you hope to bring to the school/senate, or what problems do you want to solve?

Jad Alsouss (P) & Adam Bornhorst (VP):

We want to take student input from all students in all grades to ensure everyone has a say in what goes on. We will also make advisory more entertaining while increasing the amount of places we can go for lunch to include OCB, Mitchell’s Ice Cream and EDDA coffee. We also want to give intramural sports prizes higher stakes with potential cash prizes. Jad is also strongly considering getting a buzz cut if he and Adam are elected.

Evan Solar (P) & Connor Bender (VP):

We want to ensure that we preserve school traditions in the midst of Vision 30 by emphasizing servant leadership and doing all things to God’s greater glory. We will make the student body feel the impact of Student Senate more directly and promote positive change that can be felt by all students. We want our campus to have more liveliness throughout the year with more regularly scheduled events and no dead time for Student Senate.

Edwin Avery (P) & Pearce Gibbs (VP):

One key problem that we would like to solve is a lack of student voice in administrative decisions. Obviously there are some barriers to this, but we feel that students need to have more of a voice in policies/decisions that affect us more than anyone else on campus. One specific area we know students’ voices need to be heard is in the creation of our schedule for next year. Another key problem Pearce and I would like to address is reviving school spirit; we feel that there has been a decline in attendance not only for athletic games but also in our school rallies. We also plan on having more blue and gold dress down days to show a greater appreciation for our school.

Why would you be the best candidate(s) to represent the student body?

Jad Alsouss (P) & Adam Bornhorst (VP):

There are a multitude of reasons why we are running, but ultimately it boils down to two things: 1) we love Ignatius; 2) we want to make it better. As far as why we believe we are the best candidates, Adam and I are super caring for those around us. Whether it be personal guidance or help with homework, Adam and I will always be there for our Ignatius brothers. Additionally, Adam and I are extremely hardworking. Whether it be in the classroom with us succeeding in 12+ AP classes throughout our years, on the sports field, you name it. If there is a problem, you can count on Adam and me to take care of it. Lastly, and very uniquely, Adam and I are extremely ready to take the reins and strive for change. We will make Ignatius students have easier lives, enjoy their time, and most importantly, leave this school knowing it was the best thing that ever happened to them.

Evan Solar (P) & Connor Bender (VP):

We are enthusiastic. We believe in servant leadership and we are personable. Thanks in large part to our Arrupe, L’Arche, and Labre experience, we are easy to talk to, empathetic, fun, high energy, kind and open to growth.

Edwin Avery (P) & Pearce Gibbs (VP):

Edwin: I’m a leader for numerous C.A.T. initiatives on campus, a speech and debate captain, a lacrosse player and ultimately someone who loves the blue and gold; whether it be through leading Labre and L’Arche, playing on the lacrosse team or excelling in the classroom, I take serious pride in being an Ignatian man. My vast experiences as an Ignatius student help to show my ability to represent all of you as your student body president, and ultimately be your voice to the administration.

Pearce: I’m a varsity basketball player, a straight-A student and an Empower Sports volunteer (an organization that strives to create opportunities for disabled people to be included in playing sports). I have been on the student spirit committee throughout my years on Senate and my experience will be hugely beneficial in our hope to revive school spirit.

Edwin: Both of us are very involved in the school in different ways. We are both athletes, high achieving students, and service volunteers. We feel that we each are involved in at least something that every Ignatius student should be able to relate to. Our experiences in the last three years point to our ability to represent your voice and it is of the utmost importance for us to represent each and every one of you.

Make your last pitch: why should students vote for you?

Jad Alsouss (P) & Adam Bornhorst (VP):

Jad has been an elected Student Senator for two years and has been chosen frequently to help lead the younger guys in different events. He leads the Model UN club and is a leader for multiple service initiatives at the school. He is also a Big Brother for a freshman advisory. For athletics, Jad runs cross country and plays tennis. Adam plays football and rugby and has been a mentor and leader for the younger guys to look up to. He has also been an active member of Student Senate for two years, serving as a committed senator and cabinet member. When not busting his butt on the field, Adam is involved with service, frequently going out on Labre and feeding the homeless community of Cleveland.

Evan Solar (P) & Connor Bender (VP):

We believe that we are a prime example of enthusiastic leadership. We are dedicated, goal-oriented and passionate young men with undying positive attitudes. “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.” We believe that we embody this message and have proven so in our academic, extracurricular, and personal endeavors and will continue to live this message if elected Student Senate President and Vice President.

Edwin Avery (P) & Pearce Gibbs (VP):

We are hands down the best candidates in the race. Our vast experiences in the school paired with our genuine desire to lead and represent all of you should never be disregarded. When thinking about who to vote for, we ask that you cast your ballot for a candidate who really resonates with you and in whom you have confidence as being the face of the student body. Thank you.

Fall Play Set to Delight Potter Fans!

By Jackson Kenny ’25

Fans of a certain series of books starring a certain boy wizard are in for a treat this fall, as the Harlequin’s presents Puffs, or Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic. 

Puffs focuses on the misadventures of the Hufflepuffs, following Wayne and his friends as they navigate their own journey through school. 

The cast and crew consists  of students from Saint Ignatius High School, Saint Joseph, Magnificat, and Beaumont. 

Anthony DeBlasis ‘25 plays the eccentric J. Finch Fletchley, a role that has allowed him to experiment with different character traits. “What I love is that [Puffs] allows me to parallel my character with my own personal experiences. There was a lot that I didn’t know about myself that I didn’t realize until I played J. Finch.”

Assistant Stage Manager Jacob Rolda ‘26 will be calling the cues of a show for the first time this fall. For Rolda, working on Harlequins productions has been an educational experience. “Learning about theater in general, from hanging lights to putting together scenic elements, has been really cool,” he says.

Over the weeks, the cast and crew have become a tight knit community, something which Saint Joseph Academy student Lyla Patrick ‘27, who plays Susie Bones, notes is essential to the success of the show. “Interacting with people off-stage makes it more authentic to interact with them on-stage,” says Patrick. “It all ties together on stage at some point.”

Ticketing information for Puffs is available at ignatius.edu/puffs. The production runs November 17-19.

Club Corner – Pickleball Club

By: Zain Abbas ’27

A new sport has captured the interest of athletes all across the nation —  Pickleball. A paddle sport that combines elements from tennis, badminton, and more, pickleball has found its way to courts across the world and even to the gyms of Saint Ignatius High School. 

The Pickleball club here at Saint Ignatius is a fun way for students and faculty to get active after school on Mondays in the Murphy Gym. Those who are interested but have no experience have nothing to fear as the club prioritizes having fun and making sure that all feel welcome. Mr. Barker ‘87, faculty moderator, emphasizes that anyone of any skill level can join and still have an enjoyable time: “Everyone’s out there trying to have fun and win their games, but it’s no big deal if you don’t. Just be patient and you’ll have a good time.” 

The Pickleball Club is new but has been quickly gaining popularity. Daniel Maddox, one of the club’s first members, says that he enjoys his time in the pickleball club: “It’s really friendly and inclusive. If you haven’t played before, that’s fine.” 

Senior Soham Shah is one of the student founders of the club. After getting introduced to the game this past summer, he knew he had to bring a pickleball club to Saint Ignatius: “Once I started I couldn’t stop, and I wanted to bring it to the school.” Shah is excited about the immediate interest in the club and is already thinking about the future: “It’s growing a lot, so we definitely have plans for it going forward.”

Pickleball Club has already begun gaining popularity on campus, and those interested should make sure to get involved on Mondays at 3:15. 

Contact Mr. Barker at jbarker@ignatius.edu, Soham Shah at sshah24@student.ignatius.edu, Steven Tirpak at stirpak24@student.ignatius.edu, or Charles Bartles at cbartels24@student.ignatius.edu for more information. 

 

The Class of 2027 by the Numbers

By: Joshua Gordon ’27

From the Freshman Atrium to the Library to the Mall, the buzz of excitement that fills the campus every morning until 3:05 is palpable as the freshmen of the Class of 2027 begin their journey at Saint Ignatius High School. As they settle into the new year, here is an in-depth statistical breakdown of this vibrant group of young men.

The class comprises 389 students from 107 feeder schools, the top three being Saint Raphael School, Saint Albert the Great School, and Saint Christopher School, respectively. It follows, then, that 66 percent of freshmen hail from Catholic schools.

Students’ homes are scattered throughout Northeast Ohio, occupying a total of 64 cities and nine counties. 53 percent of freshmen are Westsiders, 26 percent are Eastsiders, and 21 percent are Southsiders. The closest a student lives is a couple minutes away while the farthest commute is almost an hour: a 55-mile drive from Rock Creek to the campus.

Other miscellaneous statistics include that 88 freshmen are Ignatian Scholars, 18 percent are taking AP Modern World History, and – most interestingly – 41 percent of the class are legacy students.

While these statistics provide valuable insights, the Saint Ignatius community anticipates the Class of 2027’s future accomplishments during their next four years at the school. In the words of Director of Admissions Patrick O’Rourke ’90, “Some [students] did some pretty cool things in grade school, but let’s see what they do at Ignatius… as we say in Latin, everyone has a tabula rasa, or a clean slate!”

Second Semester Campus Changes

By: Patrick Laudolff ’24

As we are sure students are aware, 2024 will be a big year for Saint Ignatius High School as Carroll Gym is set to be demolished and replaced with a new building that will change the campus dynamic. Until everything is finished — projected for the fall of 2025 —  students will have to deal with the reality of a campus under construction. January 1st of 2024 will have a host of changes that students should note. The Eye sat down with principal Principal Anthony Fior ‘02 to get the scoop on all of the upcoming changes: 

Q: With the Library closing in the second semester, where will students be able to go for a quiet place to study? 

A: The Library will be temporarily located in the current College Counseling Office.  As this space is much smaller than the current library, we will be locating tables, chairs and study carrels in various spots throughout campus to provide students with places to study.  We are also looking at designating certain classrooms for silent study during the Activity periods.

Q: It has also been rumored that college counseling, the athletic office, and counseling services will be moved out of the basement of the Main Building. Where will students be able to find these adults on campus?  

A: College Counseling will be temporarily located in the Chapel Basement (SPA offices); Counseling Services will occupy a mobile office unit to be located in Zivoder Garden, and Athletics will move to the Counseling Conference Room

Q: With the closure of the library comes the supposed closure of what used to be the Math Wing. What will be the fate of the Makerspace? 

A: Makerspace is temporarily relocated to the 5th floor

Q: Part of the new building will be attached to Murphy Gym. Will this affect students’ ability to use Murphy during or after school for the upcoming semester? 

A: Murphy Gym is not affected by our renovation/construction plans

Explanatory note: Murphy Gym will not be touched during the renovation; however, the addition of a hallway from the library connected to the new building will presumably be attached to the wall adjacent to Murphy. 

Q: Carroll Gym and Classroom are set to be demolished. Will the availability of the Back Quad be affected? 

A: The Back Quad will be closed from January, 2024 through August, 2025 during the renovation/construction period.

Final reminders: Wasmer Field will remain accessible during the school day and for after school practice activity. The track, however, will not be available, and there will be no athletic competition events on Wasmer during the construction period.

While the changes will be impactful for students, the bulk of the displacement will affect teachers and other staff members at Saint Ignatius, many of whom will have temporary offices elsewhere. Arguably the greatest loss in the chaos of construction is the Library. Students will have to find a new place to study as the current College Counseling office is nowhere near the size needed to accommodate the number of students that flock to the Library during the activities period. Bringing back the system of designating classrooms for silent study for the activities period is a strategy that originated during the COVID-19 pandemic where students had to have more space to social distance. Some students, however, found sitting in the designated classrooms alone or with a few other students to be awkward, so it will be interesting to see how students adapt to the absence of the Library. 

 

The Eye would like to thank Dr. Fior for his help and willingness to share with the student body on how their campus experience will be impacted over the next two years. 

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About The Eye

The Eye is the student-led publication of Saint Ignatius High School.

Editors-in-Chief: Kelly Coleman '23, Young Kim '23 & Aidan Oliss '23