Amidst an ever-changing and unstable nation since the year began, one thing has remained constant in the lives of the Saint Ignatius community: AP Research students and their Google Forms. Seemingly, each Research student claims to be better than the rest, ultimately competing to see which one of them will craft an incomparable project that will leave their indelible mark on Saint Ignatius High School.
It appears that we have our winner. In a presumably uncharacteristic move, Timmy “All-5s [on AP Tests]” Gallagher ‘26 has sent out a survey for his project centering around students’ perceptions of the AP Research surveys they have taken this year. When asked about the story behind his project’s origins, Timmy declared, “I chose this project because I saw how many students chose surveys as a method of data collection. I wanted to far exceed my peers in value to my school, and I wanted to shame my peers ‘cause their surveys just weren’t good enough!”
Some of the questions on Gallagher’s survey center around students having to report which of the surveys they’ve taken hold the least meaning, least importance, and least relevance to anyone. Unfortunately for Gallagher, his research has not been fruitful thus far: he claims that he only has five respondents. When asked about his lack of data, Gallagher whined, “These were the only students who took any surveys this year!”
In a sad day for the junior, Gallagher’s reputation may be in jeopardy.
