Mr. Beach is often recognized as one of the tougher teachers at our school. Although the classes he teaches seem deceptively simple, he weaves in unique lessons to the basic curriculum. However, these lessons and the complex way he values deep learning can make the class tricky. As a veteran, I will share some of the tips I used to survive Mr. Beach’s class and manage an impressive 64%.
1. Utilizing Class Time Wisely: Mr. Beach often uses a laissez-faire approach to the concepts he introduces in class. Back in my time, we were not fortunate enough to have Yondr pouches to help us regulate our baser desires to use our phones. If you want to be able to digest the complex curriculum, it is essential to use class time wisely even when phones or computers are permitted in the classroom. Cookie Clicker is a great focus tool directly approved by Mr. Beach that really stimulates deep thinking.
2. Perfecting Your Angst: When I was in Mr. Beach’s class, I was able to secure my impressive grade by channeling my angst against societal ills in near coherent essays that I cranked out at the last minute. For anyone who struggles with English and hopes to get through this class, it’s important to channel your adolescent frustrations appropriately. Raw self-expression in any form is paramount — MLA, schlem-LA. Textual evidence is for squares, and I write better on the fly. I’m like Miles Davis, really. Maybe Coltrane — no, Bird Parker. He’s the one.
3. Work Less, Not Smarter: Another valuable skill I employed in this class was the ability to use AI to do my thinking for me. The assigned books being beyond my comfort zone of ten total pages primarily concerned with bodily humor made it impossible for me to engage with the material. Luckily, AI engaged me with excellent, thought-provoking but above all brief summaries appropriate for a bright young mind like mine. I didn’t even have to slog through the much longer SparkNotes summaries that must be written for Harvard grads or something.
4. Listening with Only One Ear: During classes, I would often find myself with one or both ears occupied with exploring musical tastes. That’s why it was important for me to hone my ability to fully listen to the engaging mini-lessons given by Mr. Beach and to take the mindful notes that he repeatedly urges. Lyrical music is poetry after all, and I always listen to my muse.
